Brutal moments sweet

 HOLY SMOKES. Im dead. Alive, but dead. Ok - so this week almost kicked my butt. notice how I said ALMOST. Lets start on a goodish note - running! Im getting there, slowly but surely. This week I ran a couple times. Still had pain (less than usual!!), but for now I don't care because I know Im not completely making my injury worse with running. When I say running - I mean 20 minutes of jogging/walking. but hey, thats a step in the right direction! I meet with my doctor next monday and hoping to get on a different medication that might provide even more relief so I can get back to doing what I love. 

Man, it sucks getting back into running shape, but I am so happy to be doing it. Nothing like a 2.5 year injury to humble me and make me realize how grateful I am just to be able to jog 3 minutes at a time. On Tuesdays I have recently started serving breakfast at a shelter here in provo. One of the highlights of my week... I go in around 0745 and help set up tables and chairs, prepare food and put everything in place for the people to eat. We then serve up a hot breakfast and get to talk and make friends. John is a buddy of mine Ive met since helping out there. He has MS and is wheelchair bound - yet still so happy. I love talking to him and hearing his life stories. His most recent advice to me is to stop waiting around because ya never know when certain opportunities will be taken away from ya. Ive mentioned my nursing school to him and he pretty much told me to full send NP asap because why not haha. We'll see. Anyways I really enjoy tuesday mornings there. The people that come in are seriously so grateful and I wish I could give them more than french toast and sausage. Wednesdays - school days - yeehaw! A full day of school and I love it. What I don't love is not getting good grades... remember I told y'all about that teacher that doesn't give out A's but I said I was gonna get an A anyway?! ya thats not happening. KIDDING - it could still happen, but dang that professor wasnt kidding. I got a 78.9% on my test on Thursday. Not a good feeling to have that number pop on your screen after your test. But oh well. Not the end of the world... just gotta figure out how to study for his tests so I can do better. Ok now for the fun part... I started my capstone this weekend at the VA! So not going to lie - I was bummed when I got assigned a boring med surg floor at the VA, but y'all I kinda love it. My first shift was gnarly. Friday night I seriously did so many new nursing skills that I've never done before. I successfully placed a butterfly and drew some labs, drew labs from a PICC, did a bladder scan and then straight cathed a guy (that was actually dope), watched a CT, dressing changes and almost got in on an NG tube placement, but sadly the patient refused (I don't blame him). It was a fun night. I actually really love taking care of grouchy old men, and nice old men too. I got off shift at 0730 on saturday morning. Mandy and Mason are nice enough to let me crash at their place during the day... went to bed at 9am and set my alarm for 5pm hoping to get 8 hours of sleep. NOPE. I woke up at 2pm and couldn't fall back asleep. so it is currently sunday at 5:12pm and Ive had 5 hours of sleep since friday morning at 9am. Go me. 

How I felt when I got outta bed. I actually felt way better once I got ready and ate some food, but ya I was dead. 

Saturday night shift was BORING. total opposite of the night before. Literally sat in the break room from 11pm till 5am doing homework and watching funny videos. But I guess thats how its gonna be the next few weeks... never knowing what the night is gonna look like. Overall though, Ive loved it. The nurses are so nice, I love the patients, and I love being able to learn. That has honestly been my week... school, school and more school. Failing my test but thriving at my clinical haha. This morning when I got off shift I headed up to Ogden for my friends farewell. I fell asleep in my car for about an hour until church started. Tayler is gonna rock her mission and Im pumped to hear about it. I guess my spiritual note I want to end on is an instagram post from my institute teacher. The caption mentioned how hard life can be, how straight up brutal it is. But with our savior those brutal times can turn into sweet moments. I also think about opposition and there can be no sweet moments without the difficult challenges. I also also think about how some of my greatest joys come from doing hard things. Running sucks - its hard - and most definitely brutal on the body but it brings me so much happiness. Working 12 hour nights, for free may I add, suck. I would much rather be in bed, but then I wouldn't get to hear room 305 making jokes about how difficult medication names are to pronounce or seeing pictures of his grandkids - and that makes me happy. Nothing good in life comes from taking the easy path. So let the brutal night shifts and trials come my way because I know with the savior those times can be the sweetest.