Laynee Wells MSN, FNP-C

 Boo yah - Its official. I am a board certified future NP. I say future because there is still a little bit of paperwork to do, but let's just say the hardest part is in the rearview. This week has been a joy - no studying and my free time is actually free time. So lets take it back to last weekend...

Honestly when I left work Thursday morning one of my first thoughts was crap, Im either gonna have passed or failed my exam by the next time I go to work. so then starting at that point my stomach was kind of in a knot the rest of the weekend. Ive been studying pretty dang consistently for the last month, but no matter how prepared I felt I still felt the need to cram those last few days. Above is a photo of me spending my Saturday afternoon still in my robe studying. I should say I was also stressed this weekend because I somehow had to completely change my circadian rhythm in a matter of 3 nights. My test was scheduled at 0800 on Monday morning and ya gurl hasn't woken up before noon in weeks. If anything Im literally going to bed around 5 or 6 am so the weekend was full of trying to sleep at night and trying to not nap during the day. Obviously it was somewhat a success because I did wake up in time for my test. And was aware enough to actually do well on the test. Anyways - cram studying. Making sure I was confident in pretty much every antibiotic scenario whether it be a penicillin allergy or in the case of a pregnant lady. Making sure I knew the ins and outs of all things assessment, diagnostic and planning. What was emergent enough to refer and so forth. Like I said in last weeks blog - Ive actually really enjoyed studying and really learning the information, but PTSD for boards was just real. I will say, I knew I was confident in myself and in my education, but I wasnt wanting to upfront and loud about it just for the small percentage I do fail. It's like when someone takes the race out at a ridiculous pace and then ends up in last place - it's kind of a joke when people do that. I just didn't want to seem confident and then fail. Definitely have some deep dark fear of failing and I wouldn't say Im a people pleaser, but I do enjoy having people think highly of me. So I didn't want this test to give people a reason to think less of me. Enough of my deep dark thoughts and anxieties...

Sunday evening I was at Drews house and asked him for a blessing. It gave me a lot of peace in many aspects of my life, not just about the test. Im grateful to have righteous brothers who can help me and are good examples to me. Monday morning I think I woke up about every two hours that night, but finally at 5:45 I got out of bed. Got myself ready and made sure I was awake, hydrated and fed. I felt good that morning. Still nervous, but just ready to get'er done. I got to the testing center in Lindon about 50 minutes early (you are supposed to be 30 minutes early anyways). I headed on in after one more glance at my notes and luckily beat the crowd of people that came in right after me at the 30 minutes before 0800 mark. So I got to start the test pretty quick without any waiting. 150 questions and I think three hours to take it. Unlike the NCLEX - I actually knew a good portion of the answers confidently. Most of the other questions I could narrow down to two answers and only a few questions I had no clue what they were talking about. Which made me feel good overall. If I could pass the NCLEX and not know a single answer than I think I was sittin' pretty for this test. Either way when it came to pushing the "finish exam" button my heart immediately began pounding out of my chest. Before finishing the exam I went back to question one and started to go through my answers - quickly I started second guessing myself and at question four I said "nope, I aint doing this" I just gotta submit it. So I did. I was so freaking nervous. After a few survey questions and a few pages of "are you sure you are ready to submit your test??" the final page came up saying "Pass" Holy crap. I still think it takes some time for that to actually set in. Like I'm done. forever. all of a sudden I'm done!! Leaving the testing center Im still shaking. so relieved. still so nervous as if the score was wrong. so excited. I don't even know, I just remember I was shaking and legit like sweating for like an hour after the test ahah. I texted the family, Karee, Madi and a classmate. All the people that I had been talking about the test to non-stop telling them how nervous I was. Karee immediately made time for a celebration drink from dutch bros. I don't even think she likes dutch bros, but she knows I like it. Then in continuation of the celebration I went home and napped. It is still a crazy feeling not having anything to do. Like I can do anything I want or nothing at all and there isn't this cloud of anxiety telling me that I need to be spending my time studying or making me feel bad for not doing homework. IDK I just know it's been a great week and for no good reason other than I don't have anything Ive had to do. So yeah, there is the story of my second and final board exam. Luckily I didn't have time to be a bitch this time around so thank goodness for that. 

My excitement can't be contained. 

That night at work there were a few close co-workers that I told right off the bat and they were stoked for me. I haven't told many people, but word is still making its way around the VA haha. 

Back to last weekend I had made plans to go visit the snakes with Madison. It was a good excuse to get me out of the house, ease my test anxiety and have some fun. You know you are a certain kind of weird when you hold snakes to get your mind off test anxiety haha. Madison actually did really well and I was impressed. Out of all my friends Ive taken here - she's enjoyed it the most I think. 

I could seriously live here. 

This sweet sweet bearded dragon just snuggled up on my chest and laid there forever. I want one. We ended the night with some ice cream and chatting about life and the good ole Kentucky days. Like I said - Im glad I planned this the weekend of boards because I probably would've stayed inside studying all night if not. 

I also found me some stairs to workout on. Not as many stairs as the Dixie tech ones, but still a workout for sure. 

Last but not least I had some self care scheduled this week as well. The scarier you leave the spa the younger you'll look in the future. haha I just made that up but I hope it's the case because I leave the spa looking pretty spooky. The rest of the week has consisted of work, walking/running, hitting the sauna, going out to dinner with Madi and watching our favorite show and all things chilling. If I would've stopped school long enough to breathe these past few years I probably would've never started my masters degree in the first place because life is so good without school. but now that its over Im glad I did it, Im proud of myself and I really am excited to practice as a nurse practitioner one day. Alright that's all for now, but another good thing about having this test over with is the fun is about to begin!! yayyy to traveling every weekend!!! Ok love ya bye!