Papa Judd

 Well crap, here I go crying again. This week has been a ROUGH one to say the least. I had called my parents, like I usually do, after work on wednesday. Instead of telling stories of my day at work, I got the news that my grandpa had passed away. I dont know how to put into words my emotions besides saying I cried and cried and cried. And Im still crying. I hate when people die. I mean I cry when random patients die at work so when someone close to me passes its a hot mess. I would say this is the first time I've lost someone who I was really close with. Grandpa was (is) one of my biggest supporters. He was a diligent blog reader and would seriously get mad at me if I didnt post weekly. So in his honor I figured he needed his own post - and writing has always been good therapy for me. So... some memories of grandpa...

- I think one of my favorite things was how he became noticeably soft in his older age. As a kid all I remember was him yelling at us and specifically yelling at us to "close the damn door" in the pine valley house. Pretty sure he hated me and my brothers when we were younger. BUT its all ok because I know he loved us in the end haha. 

- And speaking of becoming soft, I still remember the first time I heard him say "I love you." I was up visiting them a couple years ago and as I was leaving I said "love you grandpa" and from the back room I heard "I love you too" I guess I had never realized I had never heard those words come out of his mouth before until that happened. Well... pretty sure my jaw dropped. So from then on I made sure to always say I love you just so I could hear it back hah. 

- My earliest memories of grandpa look like this ^. He would drive us around in the bucket and put us up as high as it would go so we would get hit with tree branches. And the famous story of him almost killing landree and I. We were sitting in the bucket, pretty high up when he stopped to do something. He had accidentally hit the button that tilts the bucket downward. He didnt notice that we were slowly being dumped out until my shoes fell out of the bucket in time for him to stop it from completely dumping us. Good times. 

- Grandpa loved amazon. Every time I would come to the house he'd be on the computer ordering some more stuff. Pretty sure grandma will be getting packages for the next week from amazon. 

- I learned hard work at a young age when I would go to grandma and grandpas to clean every week. Once  a week, I was on grandpa's bathroom floor scrubbing the toilet and vacuuming all the pistachio shells that would fall around his chair where he sat. I would take breaks to play with the dogs or just talk with grandma and grandpa. Cleaning toilets aint all that great, but Im grateful for the time I got to spend with my grandparents each week as a teenager. Grandpa would also have a fresh bag of hot cheetos for me and I would always make a piece of butter toast from his homemade bread. OOO delicious. Butter it up and put it in the microwave for 15 seconds... I could go for one of those right now. 

- And more recent memories are simple and just include hanging out in the back room with grandpa. He was always so worried about my back pain and running. He was always wondering how work and school were going. Making sure he knew how long I was in town and when I would be in town next. He told me that my job was preparing me for when I would have to full time take care of him and I told him I would gladly do that. I wasnt kidding, but I guess he didn't really want that. He was always telling me how proud he was of me and whenever I would tell him something about how I was smart or anything he'd say "you get that from your grandpa"

- Cant forget his two trustee dogs. This man sure does love his dogs more than seriously anything else. And these dogs sure did love him. Behind grandpa, I think I was second favorite to these dogs which Ill take - and I sure do miss them too. I still remember when one of the dogs passed I wrote a little snippet in my blog and even just talking about it grandpa started crying. I think we all know the reunion in heaven for these three was epic. Im honestly so happy that grandpa is back with Odie and Aussie plus all his other beloved dogs - Im sure he is one happy guy. 

Well grandpa - Im kinda upset you couldn't have waited three days for me to get home, but I know everything happens the way its supposed to. I miss you like crazy!! But im grateful for the knowledge I have of eternal families. Im so so happy to be stuck with these^ crazies forever. Im grateful to know that grandpa is with his loved ones once again and that we will all be together forever. And even though I have one less viewer of this here blog - I know he has front row seats to my life and no longer has to wait till monday mornings to read about it (or just look at the pictures haha he preferred my picture blogs.) 

I love these two more than I can say. Grateful for all the lessons they've taught me and the love they've given me. I say it all the time, but I have some amazing people in my life and my grandparents are some of those people - Dont know what I would do without them. Grandpa, I just wanna give ya a big hug! geez. but for now I guess Ill just give grandma an extra one! and I will most definitely eat an extra plate of homemade cafe rio this weekend JUST FOR YOU! I love you all so much, I hope you know that. See ya in a little bit grandpa!